Originally posted on May 7th, 2015
A Spring Day in Omaha, May 6th 2015
Today was a crazy day in Omaha. After a weekend of partying with the huge Mayweather/Pacquiao match that then bled into the insanity that was “May the Fourth Be With You” day(rolling eyes) that then carried over to Cinco De Drinko er Mayo. Omaha hit a fever pitch. You knew Wednesday the 6th wasn’t just going to come and go quietly. Of course everywhere you turn on the news it’s 90 year old people talking about the tornado from ‘75 and the looming storms coming later in the day.
It all started at the UNO campus around 10:30am when “Leo Labogden” yes, I did some fact checking (That is me just going to the wowt.com website) and it is in fact his real name. Not a forgotten wrestler from WCW. Leo was on his phone and it was a bit loud for some random hardo. Confrontation ensued and Leo pulled out the blade!
After pulling the blade another hero jumped in and helped apprehend Labogen. Labogen and his rad surfer hair were down. Police showed up and found a couple more blades on him. This kid definitely thought he was the Joker or something. I’d go off on him a bit more but I value my life and am easy to find, I don’t want to be on the other end of his Columbine-esque potential. Do you Leo!
You gotta admire the hog tie by red shorts, you can’t learn that rope a dope on the west or east coast. That is strictly Midwest values, he may even be hitting a pressure point. Also respect the full doggy style mount from behind by dad. Dad carrying his phone in his back pocket is such a dad move too. Gotta respect it.
The city calmed down for a while at this point and in classic Council Bluffs fashion they think they’ve gotta steal the show. I’m all for some one-upsmanship, but come on CB be better. I mean you could flood Broadway, a brothel bust at the Dazzle or a Oceans 21 heist at the casinos? Can CB do something cool like that? No, they let a damn attempted murderer leave a hospital! He was stabbed by his old lady (in CB, she IS your old lady) on Sunday and been in the hospital since. Wednesday afternoon he decided time to bounce.
You gotta admire David McKee’s gumption though. Guy is a go getter. His selfie game is strong as shit with that 1999 cell phone with a leather case. Guy has the only car phone selfie ever taken in his rear view. He was later found on 42nd street in Omaha. I think he was in Omaha at Creighton originally but asking me to investigate much more is really putting me out there, I’m not Woodward or Bernstein.
Hey Council Bluffs, how about you tighten the security and keep the guy locked down? Omaha’s having a huge day here and you’re trying to get us all stabbed out here. Now we break the big guns out…
120th and Harrison, 5:00 at the Project Harmony building, my man was just CHILLLLLING
I SAID CHILLLLLLIN
I MEANNN CHILLLLLIN OUT MAX, RELAXIN ALL COOL, NAPPIN IN MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD, WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS, WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD, CAME BY AND PUMPED 22 SHOTS IN MY BOD!!!
Graphic video at the link http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/Mountain-Lion-Spotted-A-302835431.html
For a good minute the Mountain Lion gets filled up with more led than the closing scene of Scarface. Just typical overtly aggressive Omaha Police Department behavior here. The Humane Society couldn’t put it down so I understand due to being in such a public suburban area there weren’t too many options and it had to go. But a little bit of respect and decorum maybe? You know #MountainLionLivesMatter too right? The bright side is it’s just a dangerous unarmed wild animal they decided to mercilessly bust rounds into rather than an unarmed black man.
*Having said all that if the Mountain Lion did in fact reach for a gun, then by all means it had to go.
As this was all going down and that disturbing video surfaced online, twitter and Facebook were in an uproar. When reports surfaced that a baby… A BABY was found in a fucking dumpster!
I had a lot of classic diversion tactic, Oscar the Grouch, Always Sunny Dumpster Baby jokes in my head. But after seeing the picture of the poor kid left to die in a dumpster I can’t even bring myself to make them. Hopefully somehow this was some sort of mistake. Granted a mistake that should be punished with the child being taken away and the perpetrator sent to prison for a long long time but some sort of sick mistake. Nobody’s life should be deemed that meaningless. In the worst case scenario it was done intentionally then it’s just too bad we couldn’t feed the piece of shit who did it to that mountain lion before inhumanely putting it down a few hour before.
After all that the Storm they were promoting all day came in with a whimper. Huge let down. Good news for all the 90 year old people though, it’s a new day, May 7th things can get back to normal and you can get back to talking to your tornado that happened 75 years ago.