Iowa City Bro Eats Toilet Paper Thinking He’ll Avoid A DUI

IOWA CITY, IA (CBS 2/FOX 28) – Iowa City police say a Conesville man tried to avoid DUI charges using an unusual method. 39-year-old Ross McDonald was pulled over early Sunday morning after he was spotted going the wrong way on Market Street. Officers say McDonald was extremely confused and didn’t know why he was getting pulled over or where he was coming from. McDonald admitted to officers that he had consumed two drinks. During his arrest, Officers say McDonald was wearing a costume that featured male genitalia and that he tried to consume toilet paper, believing it would throw off a breathalyzer test. McDonald would later fail the breathalyzer test and was charged with driving under the influence.

With all the insanity going down in Omaha on Halloween night from skinned cows to “California Eddie” refusing to the leave bar to a drunk woman petting tigers in the cage at least we didn’t have one of our own chowing down on toilet paper in some kind of genius plot to avoid a DUI.  I see where his mind was though. He was playing a game of chicken with the cops. Do you they want to bust out the breathalyzer for a man who just ate toilet paper right in their faces? What if he just wiped his ass with that toilet paper, that’s gonna be firing shit breath right in their direction. Buy him an hour to brush his teeth and get taken in to brush up before blowing. The cops called his bluff though and nabbed him on the DUI. Probably should have just chanced it and went with a full finger full of dookie, show them you mean business.

Also, I’ve had to shit with the best of them when in my car but never so badly that I need to roll around with my own personal roll of toilet paper.  Possibly some type of Iowa City behavior where they don’t have working toilets at home so pulling over and shitting in some bushes is par for the course. Iowa never ceases to amaze.

How about his mugshot too? Talk about the polar opposite of a “shit eating grin”

That’s poop blog #1 out of who knows how many. Poop stories for days, weeks, years over here.


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