“Bro, your face is pissing me off, want to throw down?”
That’s an example of the sort of dialog that goes on in a new app called Rumblr, which can be used to set up fistfights with total strangers — you know, Fight Club style.
Rumblr is set up like a dating app, except the dates happen in parking lots and back alleys, not restaurants, and they culminate in throw-downs instead of get-downs.
WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!
There is no telling how differently my life would have turned out if social media was what it is now back in my formative teenage years. I was out there trying to get on the news for backyard wrestling, doing anything for attention in my teenage years. These kids have it so simple now, Snap Chat, Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, Rumblr all just a fingertip away to get themselves some much needed attention.
In my day we had to go walk around the mall staring at other groups of kids, throw things at cars or drive through someones yard if we wanted a stress free casual fight. Now you can safely log into your Rumblr app and throw down with ease in minutes.
At 34 I’m probably too old to be doing this and nobody knew how to fight 17 years ago so it wasn’t much stress. Now every asshole kid out there has been doing Muay Thai since they were 5, wrestling from 4 and are boxing at 3. A kid can look like the biggest dweeb this side of 144th street but probably still has cold blooded hands he’s been sharpening for his entire life, ready to just throw down and whoop some ass so no thanks on my end.
I love the spectator aspect of it though. Hopefully in future editions of the app they can add a PayPal like escrow where you bet on the fights with other spectators with little to no information other than a thumbnail profile picture. Talk about Americas new favorite pastime, showing up to random street fights for a little violence and action. Everything I crave in one app.
Lets hope this doesn’t catch on in the independent wrestling world either. I can see thousands of indie wrestlers all about an app where they can log in and go get a match wherever they want. The app not separating much from their usual weekend gig, still only a few people there to watch with no payout. Beyond Wrestling already does that, at least keep it in a ring if you need to show your “love and passion” for the biz so desperately.
(I realize the app hasn’t been approved yet and there is little to no chance of that happening, but come on Apple let the kids have their fun until the first person gets paralyzed or a brick smashed upside their head!)