UPDATE: The numbers are always released at 11 pm EST but are so far about 15 minutes delayed. Click HERE for the numbers when they are released.
What the hell!!! Has this ever happened before? I call shenanigans, malarkey, tom foolery, I call high jinks! I just know it, I know that at 10:00 like every other time in history Mega Millions drew their numbers and something went wrong this time. Something drastically different happened. The winning ticket wasn’t sold to some backwoods hillbilly, not a homeless person, it wasn’t sold to an old billionaire widowed grandmother. This time? This time it was sold to an Independent Wrestling, smut blogging, man bun wearing sociopath in Omaha at a QuickTrip about an hour before the draw. That doesn’t fit the lottery’s narrative, that isn’t the story they want to tell so they pulled the old bait and switch. The lottery want to tell a nice happy story and me winning would not be that. I am the last person they want stunting with millions. But I got bad news for you lottery, I see right through you. I see right through your tricks and this won’t be dropped. I will settle for the cool price of $30 million cash. I think that is more than fair considering you just jerked me out of the $108 million cash option. I’m settling for less than a third of what is rightfully mine. I’m waiting on your answer Mega Millions people. I’ll wait 24 hours and if you do not comply, well… then I’ll just keep waiting and buy more tickets to the next mega millions. I will get you one way or another eventually, you can run but you can’t hide. I’m on to you now.
Really though, you guys are in the business of selling hope and you’re flat out teasing me here. I’m used to having my hopes, dreams and aspirations crushed at 10:00 when I find out I’m still a broke schlub, now you’re prolonging my dream and the torture will be extra fierce when I see I’ve lost yet again. There is a reason I wait until an hour before to buy my tickets, don’t let me drift off into that fantasy land of having a good life for too long, that would be unhealthy. Now I’m going mad writing blogs!