That’s It, I’m Banning The Clip-On Man Bun

I have to break my silence, the clip on man bun has been sent to me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, via Postal Service, I think I even saw a smoke signal in the sky asking for my opinion. People needling me everywhere looking for my reaction. Am I on board? Am I jealous? Am I going to cut mine off in protest? People from New York to Cali in anticipation, well here goes…

This is so sad and pathetic, the biggest case of if you can’t beat em, join em I’ve ever seen.  Look here metrosexuals trying to jock my culture, the clip on man bun isn’t for you. It’s cheating plain and simple. As a below average looking dude I had to take steps to get ahead in the looks department and growing a sexy man bun was one of them.  This look took a couple years to perfect.  It took a relationship with a hair stylist, getting dumped, then being too cheap to actually pay for haircuts to get to this point.  Trials and tribulations to grow out my bun and now it’s being mocked as some kind of fly by night fashion trend.  No Hollywood, not on my watch, this is a lifestyle.  I’m using shampoo that costs more than .99 cents. I’m brushing my hair with the precision and care that Rapunzel does hers, are you taking your time to brush your clip in man bun?

So from here on out, I’m declaring a ban on the clip on bun. You want to have the hottest fashion trend of the millennium? Fine, but work for it. A year of that awkward phase where your hair doesn’t know what it’s doing. If I catch you with a clip in man bun then it’s a fine of

  1. Ridicule
  2. A Punch to the balls
  3. $100 fine
  4. Confiscation of your clip in bun

I do approve of the clip on bun for next Halloween though, Hype Gotti costumes going door to door for all the candy would be so hot and appreciated.

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. – Abraham Lincoln” – Hype Gotti

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