Tinder Can GTFOH With Their New “Smart Profiles”

Part of Tinder’s allure has always been its simplicity. A few pictures, a few words (or emoji), a swipe, and the day goes on. But that inherent minimalism also leads to one of its greatest criticisms: Because it’s so limited, users make split-second decisions based on very little info. That’s why Tinder is beefing up profiles and retooling its algorithm to create a more meaningful experience.


Hey Tinder, get the hell outta here with these algorithms and making it a “meaningful experience” the main selling point of Tinder was that it’s not a meaningful experience. I’d go to OK Cupid, Match or some other bullshit website if I wanted a “meaningful experience” and an “algorithm” I don’t even know what that is. Assisting in it being a meaningful experience would be kicking 21-year-old single moms of three that “Not here for a hook-up, I’m worth more than that!” off the site and into some therapy. Because no, no you’re not worth more than that m’lady.

I’m on a need to know basis with my matches on Tinder

“You’re really over 18?”

Not on there looking for my future wife, I don’t care where a female works or went to school either. The last thing I want is her knowing any of that about me either. It’s 2015 and if things go sour and I make some disparaging remarks to her I’ll wind up being protested and crucified on social media for sticking her with the tab or something. Do you know how terrifying when someone knows you but you don’t know them on there? Run for the hills! You just made it much easier.

Is there any chance this chick doesn’t change her profile? She was out there trying to get some strange and now Tinder wants to let everyone know where she works or something? Get with the program Tinder!

Plus getting rid of moments was an amateur move. Do you know how much late night poon got posted on there?  It was so clutch!

One other thing you can fix while you’re at it is kicking any woman who refers to herself as “tinderella” off the site. Obnoxious life.

You know how the saying goes- if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s