Love This Nebraska Cop Getting His Shoplift On


A former police officer found guilty stealing from a convenience store was sentenced to probation Tuesday.

Michael Retzlaff was convicted of stealing from a Millard convenience store. Retzlaff has worked for the Ralston and Ashland Police Departments.

The crime was caught on security camera. Retzlaff has paid a thousand dollars in restitution.

Judge James Gleason placed him on four years of probation.

Another theft charge against Retzlaff was dropped because of a technicality; he didn’t get a speedy trial.–351191491.html


Love the cut of this guys jib. Michael Retzlaff was just out there hiding in plain sight.  Reminds me of that time I got ticketed when I was 17 for stealing baseball cards from ShopKo with a bunch of cash in my hands. Why would I steal .99 cent items when I could just as easily pay for them? Hiding in plain sight.

You would never expect a cop to be the one in the convenience store stealing. The clerks eyes are observed for young punks and homeless dudes acting like they just need a restroom. No time to watch a distinguished former man of the law. But all good things must come to an end. I bet Mr. Retzlaff had a long successful career lifting himself Snickers bars, Batteries and Advil on the reg.

While your partners are out there driving drunk and beating up black people for no reason you’re stealing candy bars. That’s the kind of abuse of power I support, I salute you Mr. Retzlaff.


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