Ranking The Top Baby Boy Names Of 2015

Top 10 2015 names for boys:

1. Jackson
2. Aiden
3. Liam
4. Lucas
5. Noah
6. Mason
7. Ethan
8. Caden
9. Logan
10. Jacob


My god are we in horrible hands going forward. These kids are going to suck!  President “Aiden” Supreme Court Justice “Caden” Mayor “Liam” get the fuck outta here. Horseshit list. Here are my top ten of the top ten boy baby names-

  1. Jacob. Can’t beat tradition. It’s nice to see Jacob holding on, not tapping out to pussy names. It’s no Dusty, but I can live with it.
  2. Mason. Strong tough name plus I know someone named Mason at least.
  3. Logan. I actually know a Logan as well that isn’t a toddler so it can stay.  I always felt like Logan’s hear about dropping logs a lot, but as a Dusty those type puns are ok. Names are already getting soft though.
  4. Liam. Liam Neeson is as bad azz as they come, a heavy cross to bear for a child born in 2015.
  5. Noah. Such a white pansy name and if it’s being used after Joakim Noah, even worse.
  6. Ethan. Kids a snitch.
  7. Lucas. Lucas you are old school but you been played out ever since the movie. Corey Haim played you like a pussy and you’re a pussy for eternity because of that.
  8. Caden. Gayden. That’s what you want for your kid? Good luck on the playground bro.
  9. Aiden. Aiden’s parents have no respect, Charlie Sheen has made Aids hot again and now has kids named after it going forward. Aids was gone, sucks going forward.
  10. Jackson. Not even your fault Jackson. Your stupid parents named you after Jax from Sons of Anarchy because your parents suck, were probably drunk when they made you and mom smoked a pack a day through the pregnancy. Good luck with life dude.

(Not ranking the girl names, I’m pretty sure I have a family or friends with kids with all the girl names… Picking my battles)


2 thoughts on “Ranking The Top Baby Boy Names Of 2015

  1. Jared Fogle December 2, 2015 / 1:43 pm

    Thanks for this post about baby names. I like anything that makes me think of kids.

    Liked by 1 person

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