Ew Gross Get This Baby Hippo “Mabel” The Hell Outta Here

KETV- OMAHA, Neb —A new female pygmy hippopotamus calf made her debut Tuesday morning.

The Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium said Mabel, can be seen in the exhibit’s African rain forest, along with other hippos from various zoos.

Mabel’s first recorded weight on Oct. 6 was 19 pounds. She now weighs around 76 pounds. Full-grown pygmy hippos can weigh between 350 and 600 pounds and are about one-eighth to one-fifth the size of a common hippo.

Huh? What? Excuse me KETV. But made her debut? What the hell are you even talking about?  This wasn’t Lebron James suiting up for his first game. This isn’t Aj Styles signing with the WWE and having his first match. It’s not Fedor coming over to make his debut for the UFC. There is no “debut” about it. That thing is GUH-ROSS get it out of my face. When I drop a dump into a new facility I don’t say I made my debut there. That thing was shit into a pond and they want to call it beautiful. Mabel is such an appropriate name for that thing too.

You’re kidding yourself though if you think I wouldn’t adopt that thing in a heart beat. Adding a baby hippo to my clique would bring so much legitimacy, I don’t care how ugly it is. I’m no prize prince myself.



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