Just Had My Heart Stolen On Raw

Shout out to @AmplifiedtoRock for the pic. I got caught with my pants down jaw on the floor and didn’t get the chance to screen cap her.

ccby456woaatjfk

Look. She’s mine everyone. I’m pumping this blog out as fast as I can. Before other nerd recappers and sites start laying claim I’m letting it be known I got dibs first. It’s not just that she’s an 11 out of 10. It’s that she’s wearing a cut up Slap Nuts shirt. What the FUCK!?! I was almost 100% I was still the only one out there using the word Slap Nuts. I still call old people Jurassic Slap Ass, telemarketers who call twice get a ‘Listen up Slap Nuts!’ before I tell them to get lost and lose my number.

So not only does she have the beauty I envy but she has the sensibility for humor, nostalgia and a good insult that makes her the total package. So there she is, I will fight her boyfriend(if she’s there as a single woman then shoot me in the head, she’s too perfect to be true). We will go to pizza joints and disparage the waiter by calling his Slap Nut. I will dig my ‘Listen up Slap Nuts’ foam guitar out of my moms basement and whoo her with Tanahashi like air guitar riffs. She’s mine. Please help me find her, thank you.

(Really though, here we are ten minutes after she first appeared on my TV and if Vince hasn’t already signed her to a multi year diva contract then the dude truly has lost touch)

wcw-jeff-jarrett-slap-nuts-foam-guitar
(h/t wrestlecrap for the pic)

BTW- That Steph promo was HOT FIRE! Well done.

***Update***
Found her Instagram and slid into the dms. Wish me luck. And I’m not stingy give her a follow http://instagram.com/makemeblushmakeupartistry (follow me @hypegotti on Twitter and Ig too)

*Fingers Crossed*

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