Florida Man Isn’t Man Enough To Keep His Faked Death Story Going

13 Days? Thirteen Days is all you made it bro? HAHHAHAHAHAHA. Pathetic dude!  I could sleep 13 days away without the world asking a single solitary question about my whereabouts, maybe one missed call and four or five texts. Hell I just went to Los Angeles for like eight weeks and only 11 people knew or cared to ask where I was. This little baby is crying on the phone after not even two weeks after he executed a pretty sweet pirate capture and escape. The hard part was over bro! Just kicking back up on an air mattress on a cement basement floor in Georgia, that’s the easy part. Vacation from life had just started and you saved a cool 500K you were ripping people off for… You were playing with house money. They give up looking for people captured by Pirates and chalk it up to the cost of sailing in international waters after a week.  Facts are facts guy. Pac would be ashamed. Killuminati!

BTW- How could you give this dude only two seconds of screen time? C’mon! Be better Florida News. At least let him shout out his salon, truly can only find waves like that close to the ocean.


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