Tornadoes Are Pussies + The UFC 200 Main Event Is Set- Jones VS Cormier 2

(I live a few blocks over from here. CHILDS PLAY)

We’re in the middle of a Tornado warning here. The news channels all telling us to take cover. But like the previous 90% of my life living here its nothing but media scare tactics. There hasn’t been a real tornado here since 1975 or some shit. I have little to no respect for Tornadoes. Just an entire life of Tornadoes posturing and trying to scare me, not gonna work any more Tornadoes. You guys suck. Maybe in Kansas or Oklahoma or something I would respect a good Tornado but not here, not in the greatest city on earth. Tornadoes don’t have shit on me.

I remember back in High School we had a Tornado Warning and everyone got evacuated to do the Tornado Drill. I kept making fart noises and the teachers made me go to some other room for being disruptive. Do you know how messed up that would have been if that Tornado was legit and I was ushered to some unsafe area of the building and caught some shrapnel and was injured or killed?  All over some fart noises?  Those teachers would have felt really stupid there. But it was then, on that day that I realized what chumps Tornado Warnings are. I got to go sit in some empty class room and sleep while everyone else got packed like a can of Sardines into empty hall ways.

That’s not a Tornado, I’ve seen Twister

(Hey when I inevitably die in a Tornado here soon, whoever digs this blog up first please make it go viral. Some kind of reverse Darwin Award for my dumbass… Even in my death I want those views.)

Anyways to UFC 200-

“You’re a bum!”

What a quote. I love it. Calling the greatest fight in the world a bum a few times. I felt DC was posturing a little bit the first time when he was talking trash but this time I feel he may believe it.

I’ve been betting (and losing) against Jon Jones for six plus years now and I think I just may finally get it. I may finally have him where I want him and get a chance to bet against him and win. Jon Jones is truly my daddy when it comes to gambling and I may have to finally pack it in if Cormier can’t get him this time.

The real loser here is Conor McGregor (as much as one of the toughest dudes on earth who is a multi millionaire with an amazing looking girlfriend and sweet Irish accent can be).  McGregor simply overplayed his hand with the UFC here. He was desperate to get back on the show and Dana refused to cave.  As much as I hate to give Dana credit I’ve got to here, I figured he was Conor’s lapdog and for once he didn’t act as such.

I know Dana and the UFC didn’t want Conor fighting Nate in the first place so a bit of this may be them protecting their investment in Conor as well. You get to keep that likely second loss in a row to Nate and killing Conor’s drawing card while Cormier and Jones 2 will do a lot to save the star power of UFC 200. Then at 202 or 203 you get another Conor fight and million dollar PPV. UFC played their cards perfectly here.

Time to go drive in this “Tornado


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