Revisiting My Battle With “The Rannnnshaws”

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It appears the ghost is clear. The dust has settled and it’s been five days and I’m still here, I’m breathing, able bodied to leave the house now. I am no longer walking the streets of Omaha in fear.

On Sunday I had a little Facebook battle with the Renshaw family or as I affectionately refer to them – “The Raannshawwwwwss” a dominant family in the White Trash circles of the Omaha Metro area. The Rannnnnshaws have been pestering me for being a fake wrestler for a few years now. They are made up something like 50-60 males, females and perhaps who knows what else of all shapes and sizes. Bonded by one common theme- like a poor broke down poor not as attractive Fast and the Furious crew. It’s all about “Family” with the Raannnnnshaws. The thing about people always preaching “Family” is they’re usually poor and too stupid to realize that just like them every one else has families they love and would die for. But somehow when you’re Council Bluffs trash like the Raaansssshaws then somehow when you say family it carries more weight. Another key strategy in talking up your family is that you usually refer to people who by no means are any family to you. Just someone you maybe worked with at Auto Zone, Subway or were in the County Corrections with for a few weeks. “Family” – that’s South O/Council Bluffs logic there. Once you’ve seen enough of that logic put to use in person for years you know how to use it against them.

One other key note- They have all added me, the fake wrestler on Facebook. I would never seek these people out. Michael Rannnnshaw was Sundays target. One thing you gotta know about Michael is that he is an MMA Fighter. Bad azz right?  Check him out from earlier this year at the Omaha Fight Club in the Orange shorts-

I mean what talent, speed, precision and heart. You can see why I’ve been afraid to leave the house. You see why I’ve left the local wrestling scene. If Michael Rannnnnshaw showed up to show I’d be so screwed (providing he could afford the $10 entrance).

So bored on Sunday I decided to throw one shot their way knowing it would set of a Royal Rumble to keep me entertained for a couple hours.

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There, that’s all it took. He went Fast and Furious status with the family name, I hit him with a Stone Cold and we’re off and running. The pack of roaches is about to pounce on me.

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Love that “Vonia” who from what I’ve gathered is the grandmother of the operation, her repping for the gays still is great. Didn’t that fad die out in 2014? Changing your profile picture is probably some rocket science in Rannnnshaw life.

Michael claiming I run from him in “the streets” made me spit my water out and I wasn’t even drinking any. I wouldn’t be caught dead on the same streets he’s walking around. Dude is a father as well, great time to mention.

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and lay off da TAT bro!

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Dusty Rusty is a new one. I’ve heard Rusty Dusty from a lot of people but reversing it on me? That’s some brainiac shit.

Sincerely, I’m not even joking. I seriously hope Ciera Poot-N-Nanny is 13 years old at the very oldest, blind and partially deaf typing via brail, grunts or smoke signals or some shit. There is NO EXCUSE to know how to turn on a computer or phone, log in, type your password and e-mail address, read at some level and be THAT stupid. And that’s coming from a guy who considers himself pretty dumb… I mean look what I’m entertaining myself with here.

At this point I began posting a screen shot of Michael Rannnnshaws well manicured Scott Disek/George Clooney like 5 O’Clock shadow beard.

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Just kidding, it’s a briar patch on fire beard that parts like the Red Sea. He deleted it every time I posted it. I don’t necessarily blame him.

Oh shit!!! What’s that? Do you hear it? DO you hear that? It can’t be! IT’S THE TAZZ MANIANS MUSIC!!!!

It was right there. That moment I knew I done fucked up. Take my ass into witness protection for the Rannnnnshaws, Cieara Poot-N-Nanny and da Tazz Manian have rag dolled me into oblivion. Nothing left to do but apologize and keep it moving.

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(as I was screen capping this, there was “Rannnnshaws” after almost every other post he went back and deleted though. Don’t fuck around on their name too much. “My Name Is My Name” – Marlo Stanfield)

 

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