Throwback Blog – THE College World Series Sucks 

I have arrived in Orange County. No better time to get out of Omaha than the single worst week there each year.

The following is a reblog, it’s the first thing I ever wrote on my old website. It’s terrible but the sentiment of it all remains the same. I would write more but I’m about to flip tires on the beach and film a rap music video on a boat with models (no joke) peace out Omaha.


June 2012-

This is the absolute worst 10 day stretch every year in this city.Yuppy city. You think the College basketball fan who only comes around for March Madness is annoying? The person who only watches the Super Bowl for the commercials is bad? People with hot sports takes on Lebron who haven’t watched an NBA game since Jordan suck? Roll them all into one and you have 99.9% of the people in this city from June 10th to 23rd.

Forget name a player on the team of course nobody can, can you name a team playing before seeing a newspaper? Probably not, but it is absolute life or death for people here.

I’m capable of enjoying some college baseball as a gambling activity but that’s all. Inferior product in a terrible pitchers park stadium.

The Men out here throw their Masters Sundays outfits on and attend each game like it’s the last they’ll ever see. Visor, Shades, Polo or Team Tee, Khaki shorts three inches above the knee and generic nikes or sandals. Also rolled up World Herald Paper in the back pocket.

Bonus points for dudes in their early 20s who just use it as an excuse to get wasted and find females. Pro Tip- when I was in my early 20s the fellas and I would always go out to the CWS bars, pretend to be CWS players and get us some local chicks. No girl in this city can resist a college baseball player, and I’m a generic looking average white guy just like 99% of college baseball players. Tell them we’re breaking curfew, I’ll give a little shout out from left field tomorrow but we need a place to go party for after hours. Dumb chicks always bought it, at the very least end up drinking in the VIP section of the club for free. Hopefully some young bucks are still out there pulling this scam on the hussies of O, cause really the only two reasons a woman goes to the CWS is to 1- appease her man or 2- the dream of meeting some future bartender/college baseball player.

The CWS is everything I hate about sports rolled into one big weekend smacked right into my city and in my face for 12 days. It takes complete control of Omaha and wont be thought about again for 50 more weeks. I guess if I was still able to trick 18 year old chicks into thinking I was a successful ball player rather than a sack of shit indie wrestler I may have a different sentiment towards the event, but for now and until we lose the CWS to somewhere like Indianapolis fuck this event.

Bonus- Best CWS memory ever was in 2000 on a rainy day Clemson played Louisiana Lafayette. I had just got hired by Valentinos to deliver pizzas and those pricks weren’t letting me get out and deliver for like three straight days. I was finally fed up, I got my first delivery and decided fuck it I’m going to meet a couple friends at the CWS, so I took a couple large pizzas down to the stadium and tail gated for a bit. We made our way into the half empty stadium and saw an awesome game ULL won 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th on a walk off hit. Clemson was eliminated and super salty, a bench clearing “brawl” broke out which ULL also got the better of them. We made our way to the Clemson dugout just as their season came to an end and informed them they couldn’t beat them in a baseball game or a fight, that they are a bunch of pussies. Like cockroaches the Clemson Tigers baseball team came out of the dugout and began coming into the stands to come after us, yelling, spitting, throwing shit. They were determined to get out of Omaha at least having won a fight that weekend. Luckily the Rosenblatt security came down and banned us from the stadium for the remainder of the year, Clemson never did get that win they were seeking.

I returned to my job at Valentinos roughly 5 hours after I left like nothing happened. My manager was absolutely stunned, pizza never got delivered. I told him I got lost, he knew I lied, I got fired. Who cares, I had the entire summer ahead of me.


2 thoughts on “Throwback Blog – THE College World Series Sucks 

  1. L August 8, 2016 / 2:02 pm

    I’ve known you for years and had no idea you were such a talented writer. I’m not even into the sports you blog about but your writing style has kept me captivated and interested and I’ve spent the last several hours reading your posts. Maybe you’ll figure out who I am, maybe you won’t. All I want to say is you’re a special guy with a big heart, follow your dreams, continue to work hard and grow. And I hope you find the happiness you deserve. Lots of love.

    Liked by 1 person

    • @hypegotti August 8, 2016 / 3:28 pm

      Well that was the nicest thing said to me in years 😂


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