Now look, I’m not in the business of bashing someone for their looks or judging them but this was just a mismatch from the jump. In normal life, I’m no prized pig myself. I’d love to hit a dive bar up and slug Fireball and Bud Lights all night with Bec. But, while Bec and I are equipped for that Paige should be getting railed by Calvin Klein models while shopping on their dime on Rodeo Drive.
What insult to injury as well when Paige Crane Kicked her face off seconds into the second round.
After careful consideration(listening to Thunder Storm Pandora buzzing on Hydrocodone), I’ve come up with five fights that may rival this battle of beauty and beast.
Brian Stann vs Wanderlei Silva
This is a classic case of the USA just rubbing its balls allover the rest of the worlds faces. Classic all American Boy with a jawline you could cut pizza with against a third world country, under the bridge looking every bone in his face broken looking scary fucker in Silva. Aside from it being one of the greatest looks disparities of all time it was also one of the great fights of all time. If you haven’t seen it check the highlights below.
Urijah Faber vs Renan Barao
Look, I know what you’re thinking “Oh Faber has a butt chin how do you include him”but you need to smarten up to the modeling industry. One ridiculous default is actually a check mark in the positive. Like a Victoria’s Secret model having a gap tooth or mole. Faber’s butt chin sells. If Stann was the quintessential All American then Faber is the quintessential Cali-Bro up against Barao and his Curious George like features and you have an epic mismatch.
Luke Rockhold vs Keith Jardine
Brutal match-up here. I was at this fight live and played Blackjack at a $25 table at the Hard Rock the next morning sitting right there with Rockhold. That’s really all there is to the story, just a way to put myself over real quick and brag I played at a $25 table. The guy was pretty stunning in person though, how you 6’3 or so and fighting at 185 with that body? N/H.
KJ Noons vs Nick Diaz
A Modern day Breakfast Club Judd Nelson the loaner bully going after Emilio Estevez the entitled jock looking to please his father. The best part of the feud though was the Diaz clan jumping Noons and his daddy with Goldberg in the middle of things. Diaz also coining the now famous “Don’t Be Scared Homie” catch phrase.
Gina Carano vs Christiane Santos
Ladies, if you look like this it’s just why you shouldn’t fight. You got a good thing, an easy thing going for you. Don’t risk losing it. Paige’s days are numbered as well. Get out while the gettin is good chicka, men can get by on ugly. Women? It’s an uphill battle.
Have any honorable mentions? Share and tweet them to me @HypeGotti.