The Christmas Lights Bandit Has Been Caught and I For One Am Not Mad At Him


Police officers arrest man after recognizing him stealing Christmas lights

A man is now charged with stealing Christmas lights.

Investigators said Kevin Hood stole the lights back on December 1st from a West Omaha home.

And it was all caught on camera.

A police officer tells Fox 42 News he saw the video and recognized the man.

A woman was inside her home with her nine kids at the time.

The man is now facing a list of charges.


First things first, HEY LADDDDY why don’t you chillout with the kids yo? Nine? 9????NIIIIINE????? Just a casual footnote in the report. I’m more interested in her story. Just how do you afford to live in West Omaha with nine kids?  If you’re before 30th street or so I can see some situations where that just happens. But nine kids, in West Omaha in a presumably nice house, there is intent there. A calculated move to be knocked up that many times and overpopulate the world. That is psychopath behavior, maybe look into locking her and the husband up as well. Don’t trust em.

I can’t knock Kevin Hood’s hustle though here. Stealing Christmas lights is never something that really occurred to me. I’ve been on record since around 5th grade that people who pay for certain outdoor household items are straight up suckers.

True story- Fifth grade, a beautiful spring day I walk out the door to head to school. I look to my right and what do I see? A (presumably) homeless man standing there on the side of my home with the hose running, washing himself off in nothing but a pair of underwear.  I stand there, completely stunned. What the fuck is going on? Guy didn’t have a care in the world, he was enjoying his time getting max refreshed at the expense of my parents water bill, with their garden hose on their property.

He stops, stares at me… throws a shirt and shorts on. Picks up his sweet homeless man bag and goes on his way in the opposite direction of me. Not a word said, I was speechless he didn’t care.

But there is a moral to this story. It was that day, 20 some years ago I told myself that my parents were suckers. We were just leaving our property out there in the open for the world to see and make their own personal playground or make-shift shower of. I vowed from then that in my life if I’m ever fortunate enough to be a homeowner (not yet) I will not pay for a hose. I don’t care how successful I wind up being, in a few years you may find me on the KPTM news caught on camera stealing someone’s garden tools. It’s just a promise a young Hype Gotti made to himself and whether I’m 35, 45 or 60 when I own my first home that neighbors hose is coming home with me. A young me looked up to an older me (he had a lot to learn) and young me will be heartbroken if the grown Hype Gotti is out there paying for hoses like some kind of sucker.

So I feel your plight Kevin Hood. I see you, they leave those Christmas lights out there and you told yourself finders keepers. I ain’t mad at you man, I’m more mad at the woman with the nine kids. Already too many people out here bro.



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