I have no idea why, but a year or so ago who I think I’ve figured out through a little light stalking myself, Marty Janetty’s ex-wife or girlfriend of some sorts added me on Facebook. A little odd as we had no mutual friends but through some more light stalking I wasn’t mad at it, she’s a certified cougar in the flesh. Clearly in her second childhood always posting pics out partying (responsibly) and I’ve got a thing for the tatted up cougars. I never made an advancement on her since she’s so far away (and figure she’d just delete me). So I just held her on the friends list as a little badge of honor. Maybe old Marty Jannnety’s ex just had a thing for average pro wrestlers with gorgeous brown flow?
She rides a motorcycle in half her pictures though, so she may just be too bad ass for me and knows it. I wouldn’t touch a scooter let alone a hog, although my hair flowing in the wind while I ride saddled up behind her would be a strong visual… Ok we’re getting weird.
But today I’m perusing Facebook when I finally see Marty Jannetty comment on her activity. And as an experienced light stalker of just the Facebook variety myself I found it alarming. Let’s go to the tape.
Well damn Marty, you perved up horn dog you! He’s been tracking her all week, even going as far to order her to bed. That’s an old passive aggressive stalker move if I’ve ever heard one. Marty may have been hopping on a flight right there knowing his prey was just laid asleep. Lucky for us the ex was far too woke, she knows Marty. She sees his games at work, “you tracked my miles all week!” she’s on to the second Rocker, she knows. So not only does ex-Miss Jannetty have the beauty and badassery I look for in a coug but she’s smart as well.
About ten years ago on a road trip to Wisconsin with Jayden Draigo and Mad Dog Vachon (yeah Mad Dog Vachon) we were pulled over. I’ve told this story a dozen times but ultimately get let off when the cop knows Mad Dog and was a huge fan. V cool of him. But one part of that story I haven’t ever really brought up was that Police Officer told us just seven days before he had a run in with Marty himself. He told us in that exact mile he got us he pulled Marty over doing 100+ and he wasn’t so lucky receiving a citation. I wouldn’t be shocked if Marty just didn’t pay it and hasn’t been back to Iowa since then. That’s an old veteran move, same reason I’ll never go back to Louisiana.
Now do I really think Marty is stalking his ex? No… not really. Well nah, I dont’ think… nah he’s not. I mean he could be but ehhh, nahhhh. But maybe that was some kind of Final Destination moment. Maybe this was meant to be, his ex was supposed to add me to Facebook ten years later. I cucked Marty on that lonely Iowa Interstate that night and now I’m supposed to cuck Marty in real life? Well in classic Hype Gotti fashion instead of getting to the cucking, she’ll stumble into this blog I’ve ruined it with a ridiculous hypothetical fantasy on a Friday night. Marty has the last laugh after all.
BOOM SHAKA LAKA