Guy Caught Jerkin It In Omaha Public Library

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OMAHA, Neb. (WOWT) -In a disgusting display at an Omaha public library, a man is charged with lewd conduct and indecent exposure.

According to police reports, a security guard at the W. Dale Clark in downtown Omaha was told by a patron a man was masturbating in the gallery area around 5:30 pm on February 14th.

The guard saw 31-year-old Anthony Triplett standing the in gallery with his pants down to his ankles masturbating in plain view.

The guard ordered Triplett to stop his actions and pull up his pants.

Triplett then ran from the building.

The guard was able to identify Triplett to police from previous ban and bar incidents in the library.

 

First things first, I know you’re supposed to be quiet at the library but was not jerking off ever outlawed with expressed written consent? Makes ya think, no?

Well, sure standing in the gallery with your pants down to your ankles whacking it in plane seat is a little aggressive. Thankfully WOWT provided the mans name to bring shame to his family and friends. And with Omaha, being the small place it is I knew I could find his profile rather easily on Facebook.

In my head, I assume we have a 5’9 pale, white male, with glasses. Likely a pube stache and either less than 150 pounds or greater than 250 pounds. Being he has been previously banned and barred from the library the guy can’t be any normal kind of build or look.  So lets check out Mr. Tripplett, serial library masturbator over on Facebook –

trip

shocked-spit-out-drink-o

 

Holy shit, did not see that one coming. While in the current political climate, it may seem we’re getting less progressive, the country is being further divided apart, we have a heart warming story like this to bring us all together. See white people?  A crime previously reserved for nerdy white folks can be done by blacks too. Maybe we’re not so different after all.

It is Valentines Day though, I’d imagine this wasn’t the only incident like this today. Maybe cut the guy a little slack? Lonely with a lack of Wi-Fi at home?  It’s cold out, not like he can just go to some park. Had to get his rocks off somehow.

PS- Such a Library Jerk Off guy move to not know how to crop their photo the right way up in a Facebook profile pic.

(I absolutely meant to edit our mutual friend out, but it slipped my mind when I grabbed the screen capture. Oh well, I’m not friends with the dude. That’s on you McKenzie.)

Now take it away worlds best library crank yanker of all time-

Update-

So it seems as though I missed a story a couple months ago. Sent on by my good friend and star Omaha News Reporter, Jake Wasikowski. It could be we have a problem in Omaha with Serial Library Masterbators. I can’t say I’m going to investigate, but you have my word I’ll pay better attention going forward.

(The only beat lower than covering Midwest Indie Scum may be if I wind up covering the Library Public Jerk off beat, no pun intended)

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